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I have been reading a lot of bloggers lately, that speak about watching horror movies with there parents at really young ages.
At fist I thought it unusual verging on neglectful but it seems that unusual doesn’t quite cut it.
Kindertrauma is a blog dealing specifically in the movie traumas of our childhood.A lot of readers write in about watching horror movies with their folks
This is an excerpt from the traumafession of the reader Maritsa:
My parents weren’t the type to take my brother and I to Disney movies. I am scarred for life; I’m 34 and still sleep with a night light. My parents took us to the movies to see films like THE AMITYVILLE HORROR, THE LEGACY, PSYCHO 2 and AN AMERICAN WEREWOLF IN LONDON…The one movie that really traumatized me was SALEM’S LOT. The scene where the vampire shows up at that kid’s window was torture for me. My bed was up against the window in my room. My father would say, “Good night kids. God Bless you and remember if the guy from SALEM’S LOT shows up, don’t open the window.” Then he would shut off the lights. I’d put the blanket over my head and it would be 90 degrees out and I’d be sweating. I swear those nights I must have only slept because I passed out from heat exhaustion.
Is that normal parental behaviour?
The Traumatic Scene
My biggest movie trauma as a child was seeing Gone With the Wind in the drive-in.
I must have been somewhere between 6 to 8 years old and I spent most of the movie screaming, what got my parents to eventually move the car was the amputation scene in the field hospital.
I collapsed into a screaming heap on the car floor and wouldn’t shut up till the driving was way behind us.
It took me some twenty years or more to get up the courage to see that again and I had to laugh at the harmlessness of the movie in through the eyes of an adult….
It seems to me that exposing your children to movies that are meant and made to traumatize adults or at least give them a good scare is a form psychological abuse.
When did you start watching horror movies?
Would you watch them with your kids?
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Having not spawned any off-spring just yet, I can’t speak to what I would or would not do. However, I’m am a regular at Brooklyn’s own Court Street theaters where I’ve seen people drag their young children to horror fare from Cloverfield to Saw. In fact, the films of the Saw franchise are treated as excuses for family outings – groups with five or six children between the ages of 4 and 12 will show up for these splat-fests.
Oddly, the kids don’t seem to care. They barely watch the movie and, instead, run around the theater playing tag and whatnot. Only once have a seen a kid completely lose their crap and panic because of the horror film that was being shown. During Cloverfield a boy who must have been seven or eight years old started wailing and shrieking. The dad, making his already strong bid for “Father of the Year” nigh unimpeachable, sat through the flick with this traumatized child and, after the film, berated him for ruining the experience for everybody.
I am actually surprised that the theaters let the kids in… obviously these movies are rated not suitable for kids…
I thought this extremely wonderful parenting was going on in front of the family D.V.D…
I think parents should use their own discretion based on the temperament of their child. We have a lot of fun at Kindertrauma talking about the films that freaked us out as kids and for the most part these are fond memories. As far as abuse goes I think it’s much more detrimental to teach your kid to hate themselves, or to pass on your insecurities or to just be emotionally absent. I think you’re right in thinking it’s too soon if the kids can’t determine that the dangers are not real but it’s also a normal part of growing up that we get scared sometimes and it can be fun for a family to get scared together. I’ve seen some parents focusing on sheltering a child rather than instilling basic positive values and the results are more horrifying than anything a horror movie could do.
P.S. I can’t stand when people bring their kids into the theater to disrupt other people’s film going experience !!!
I’ve got to agree with you on your point that one wouldn’t necessarily need horror movies to mentally abuse kids and that There are worse things that could happen to kids like having disinterested parents….. also, kids like to be scared and it is a necessary part of their social development (all you need to do is read the bothers Grimm to see that there is a lot of kid horror intended for kids)
The problem is their ability to differentiate between the imaginary world and the real one…(obviously every child will have his own threshold…)
I can speak about how scared I was of the giant in Jack and the Bean Stalk with a smile now, after many years but at the time the nightmares were no joke…and my terror was far more tangible than any thing I experience now in front of a horror movie…So I can see your point, and definitely agree that there are worse things a parent can do by far…. I still don’t think I would let my kids watch horror movies at the tender age of grade school, depending on the kid, and on the movie maybe when they are in middle school or high school…
time will tell.
R,
I think the most terrorized I remember being was after watching a T.V movie called SATAN’S TRIANGLE. It scared the crap out of my for YEARS!!! There wasn’t really any violence in it and I think my mother made an O.K decision to let me watch it but it still scared the crap out of me. The thing is, I would never change that experience because it kind of helped me learn to manage how to deal with my fears out of necessity. I’m not saying parents should let their kids watch anything they want but all I keep thinking is that I’d rather have my kids watch “Nightmare on elm street” than “bratz” because I actually think they’d learn better values from “Nightmare”! My niece grew up watching horror from a very early age and she’s really a together ,thoughtful person. I think if you are lucky enough to be in a safe nurturing environment AFTER the movie is over you’ll be O.k. Anyway thanks for bringing up the subject, something tells me that you and I had very similar experiences with this stuff as kids!
Nightmare vs Bratz…. Hmmmm
Yep. no bratz for my kids either…how old was your niece when she saw Nightmare? (and what values? I saw it a long time ago and all I remember is how terrified I was and Fredi’s knife nails or what ever they were…)
If the parent is a very present parent, and in tune with their child…. then maybe its not such a horrible idea.
If you think about it - Hansel and Gretel is no less horrible than Elm street…. except in a book it is a little less grotesque than it would be in a full blown movie…
(You make a good argument - I still don’t think I would expose my kids to horror movies at a young age …)
I think most of the NIGHTMARE sequels are set up pretty much like WILLY WONKA. Whatever your vice is, that shall be your demise. Read too many comic books? Than death by comic book!!!! etc, If nothing else, at least they promote moderation over excess. I don’t think I’d set out to purposely terrorize my child but to accuse someone of being a bad parent for letting their child be exposed to horror perpetuates the false assumption that horror is always “bad” or has no merit. I don’t see how horror, as a genre will ever be taken seriously when even it’s professed fans don’t believe in it’s value. Kids are way more resilient then we give them credit for and horror films are way less detrimental then we pretend they are.(IMHO)
R, one thing that I should point out that I didn’t is that I know from other comments left by the author of that traumafession that she has really good memories of these experiences with her family and has a sense of humor about it. I really don’t think if she experienced it as abuse that she would write in to tell us about it. You’re obviously a very kind person to be worried for her but I think that this is a part of her history that she holds dear. Anyway, thanks again for sparking this discussion, you really got me thinking about this stuff and at least we do agree on one thing…No Bratz!!!!
YOu are probably right about the fond memories.
I have a fascination with horror because I was always easily frightened and wanted to find out for myself what is it that frightens me …. with time I started to “enjoy” the fear more than not…
I certainly don’t watch horror for the values it it - I don’t think that is what it is all about,there might be a value or to hidden in the movies here or there… but thats not the main point as far as I am concerned.
I like to watch for the effects and the suspense and the rush … not so much for the value….
Any way, Unkl, thanks for having this discussion with me - it has provoked my thinking and challenged my point of view, which is always a good thing!